The end of an era ~ shadow case for my baby Clare

I started this blog almost 2 years ago, at that time, I mainly want to share my handmade cards with my girlfriend in Germany and my sister way back home, many of you might not know, on one occasion, I found a paper crafting blog while googling for "beautiful apron", it opens up a brand new journey for me, I started taking part in challenges and soon after that, received my very first comment from a "stranger", and many of those strangers slowly turned into friends, although I haven't meet YOU in person, but to me, there is not difference from friends we met in real life, my blog friends are those who shared the same interest, we encourage each other, we inspired each other and we cared for each other.

I do struggled a little when I am writing this post, write, delete, write again, delete again, I was scared and wonder how much should I share in terms of my personal life, but I guess for those who cared, I really wish to share this part of my life with you........ (or you could scroll right down to the picture of my project if you wish)

I moved to New York City with 2 luggages and 2 young daughters 8 years ago, my older, Clare who some might called "Prodigy" was accepted with a full scholarship to study piano at the prestiges Juilliard School, she was 11. She was a little celebrity in the classical piano scene back home in Singapore, a recipient of HSBC youth excellent award, youngest recipient of National Arts Council Gifted Young Musician Bursary, gave her full-length piano recital at 9 and cut an album at 10, being the youngest Singaporean ever admitted to The Juilliard School, Clare was everywhere, on TV, on Radio interview, that makes me a little uncomfortable as I am a very private person and DO NOT enjoy the attention at all.

Long story short, moving to New York City with 2 young girls, starting life all over again was not an easy journey, coming from a comfortable place like Singapore, life in New York is nothing but hardship, we know no one and I've learn to be strong and independent in a hurry (I had to admit that I live a pretty sheltered life back home in Singapore)

I walked the girls to school daily, walked Clare to The Juilliard School for her piano lessons, every walk we took, I told myself, no matter how tough life is, I NEED to be strong for the girls as I am the pillar for them, I cannot fall because they need me to lead on, I never shed a tear when the girls are around, if I need to cry my sadness, I'd join the millions of New Yorkers, cry in public, anyway, who cares... in a city that build with cold concrete..... that was really my first thought standing in front of Lincoln Center, surrounded by high rise, I felt small, I felt the coldness and loneliness.... 

I can never forget, on one of those Saturday (Juilliard conduct their pre-collage program on Saturdays), Clare was invited to a birthday party, therefore, that walk 3 of us took numerous time, from The Juilliard School (65th street) back to our apartment on 57th street, were just little Dolce and I, suddenly I realized........the girls are actually my pillar (and not the other way round), they kept me going, they helped me to be strong, they are all the reasons I am willing to suffered financial hardship and other hardship in life, learning how to live on a budget, learning how to stretch every cent, learning how to take care of little things from fixing my bathroom toilet bowl to "arguing" with a customer service person over bad service they provided and over charged fees after holding on my phone listening to the recorded message for 40 minutes.... and many many more, I can write a book on just that... 

At that point of my life, my children are the reason I live.

You might already know from reading my blog, my baby Clare finally left home early this month, to attend collage at CalArts, her dream school, to pursue music of a different kind, although I am not 100% agree of this direction, but I am 100% supporting her decision.

The past weeks were very hard for me, I felt lost, I cried when I drive the usual route when I took her to work......

We finally got to see her last weekend in San Francisco, and driving her back to CalArts and came home to Vegas without her was another emotional journal for me, I just miss her so much...

A few things to sum up, the compass I live by today, like in Frank Sinatra's New York, New York, 

"if you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere"

and "if it doesn't kill, it makes you stronger"

and "everything happens for a reason"

and I would tell everyone - I grew up in New York, which is true, I never know what life is until I was lifted from a comfortable sunny little island and placed it way across the ocean, directly on the other side of the earth, a place called New York

The project I am sharing today is a shadow box I made for Clare to bring to collage

Just the 3 of us.... 

in London, summer 2008

Clare is a big fan of many British band and artists, like The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Queen and Roger Waters.... so I am picking up the colors not just because the photo was taken in London

I have the central London map DP also because one of Clare's (actually both my girls) dream is to live in London someday....

the three black birds symbolized the 3 of us, and also our favorite Beatles Song - Black Bird

ok, I gotta go wipe my tears..... thanks for reading....